“The Lions Denn”: Who’s gonna eat in Week 16, Holiday Edition

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! I hope those of you reading this are advancing to the Fantasy Superbowl. I know those of you who own Jamaal Charles probably are, and those who faced Charles, I pity the fool. I wanted to share a Holiday edition of The Lions Denn with you this week.

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‘Twas the night before the fantasy championship and you’re looking to win. With the title in sight, this is where you begin. Start the guys who have been there for you. It seems so simple, yet many never do. This is not the time to play Joe Blow. One owner said, “But he plays Buffalo.”  Trust me, I can see your reason. But get “too cute” and  it can cost you your season.

The lineups were set with extra thought and care. In hopes they put the right players in there. The owners who line up their Bears receivers will shout with glee. They face the Eagles D. who are second worst in the league. Week 15 they allowed 11rec, 163yds,  and 1td to a less than stellar Greg Jennings. Marshall and Jefferey is your path to the winnings.

Mamma, told the Arizona offense to bundle up for the cold. They’re heading to Seattle, where all the tickets were sold. In front of packed a house the earth shattering roar of the deafening crowd. Larry Fitzgerald, realized no touchdowns were allowed. This powerful force known as the Seattle D, can also be called tyrants. After all, they did pitch a shut out against a talented Giants. The Legion of Boom will surely dominate. Arizona WR’s will not be able to separate.

When out of the game, I heard a big clatter. I checked out my score to see what was the matter. And there I see Green Bay D, all bloody and battered.  I noticed a Pittsburgh Steeler running all over them, 100yds had been shattered. Kids begin cheering as they heard a Bell ring. “Listen mom. I hear Santa and his sleigh.” “No honey. I am sorry to say, that’s a LeVeon Bell having his way.”

As the moonlight lit the Monday Night Game. San Francisco ran over Atlanta like a runaway train. A beautifully wrapped gift lay underneath the Crabtree from jolly Ole St. Nick. Owners tore away the paper, and what is it? Why, it was a new Kaepernick. Colin owners will finally be rewarded. The Atlanta secondary is easily exploited. The owners shouted, “Who can save us?” Then to the rescue came one, Vernon Davis.

Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen. On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen! And on CJ2K. He came to be a top 5 play. Johnson is definitely on the Nice list this week. He draws the Jaguars D, that has two left feet. All worries of Shonne Greene have been laid to rest. Play him with joy as he hits his season best. Johnson will continue to deliver. With many points flowing through your fantasy river.

Snow is falling, the children grab their sleds, and head for the hilltop. It is a swift ride to the bottom, and a slow grueling climb back to the top. Ask Andrew Luck, his season was a flop. The snows getting deeper, and the sledding is tough. Luck draws The Kansas City Chiefs, so it’s going to be rough. As the snow piles up inch by inch, it’s best to leave Luck sitting on your bench.

Suddenly, a crash came from the chimney! I ran over to look for an injury. And what did I see? A barley nicked up A.P. I gasped with relief because this was a close call. When he spoke and said, “Put me in. I will ball!” Without a second thought, I put him in. Even a hobbled Adrian Peterson, is too much to defend. I rode him to the title like a brand new Caddy. In our review stood the defense of Cincinnati.

You have been naughty for starting Matt Ryan. I hear one owner’s title hopes dyin’. Don’t be the boy who gets a lump of coal. This isn’t the 1800’s version of San Fransico. You will have to look elsewhere to hit fantasy gold. The 49ers D has been playing very nice. They will bring too much heat for ole Matty Ice.

While fast asleep in his bed for quite a while, little Alfred Morris awoke as the yards began to pile. It has been a quiet season’s night in the nation’s capitol. Start Alfred this week, and it’s sure to be magical. I would start most players involved in these type of games. Garcon, Morris, Dez, Witten, Romo, and Murray are a few of the names. This season Washington may not get another win. However, you should roll with Morris, whom is the prettiest pig in the pen.

With Christmas on the horizon, the town has shut down. I would say the same this week of Andre Brown. New York has been a fantasy disappointment all year long. With that being said, I wrote a little song:  Silent night, ball in flight, no receiver in sight. Eli, targeting Nicks, Oops there’s another pick 6. Coughlin is shaking his fist. Detroit up by a ton, abandon the run. With Detroit’s stout D-line, leave Brown on the pine. Win in heavenly peace, win in heavenly peace.

It is finally Championship morning and the owner’s run down the stairs. Setting the right lineup was like splitting hairs. But they used their gut instead of their head. “Their team took the title,” is what the  message board read. As they were overcome with joy and pride, the team that made the wrong decision read it and cried. Don’t be the owner with the winning points on your bench. Resulting in you becoming the fantasy Grinch. “Go with your first instinct,” is all that I know. At five minutes til one I sat Stacy for Moreno. Only to leave myself in a 30pt hole. With one player left last Monday night. I slowly watched the title slip out of sight. All would be well if I had left Stacy in. Instead I ended up losing by ten. Don’t make those last minute decisions you will live to regret. In the words of my friend Ron, “Set it and forget!” That is all I have to say as the end draws near. To the runner-up, we live to play another year.

MMM

kiss

That is going to do it with this weeks installment of “The Lions Denn.” I hope I have been helpful to you this season. I am always available to answer questions or talk football on twitter. My handle is The Lions Denn@dunbar_dennis. I don’t have an off-season, so feel free to contact me anytime. I want to give a special thanks to Corey Roberts and the lovely Jess for this platform here at Major League Fantasy Sports. Good Luck!!!!!



Categories: Fantasy Football, Roster analysis, Weekly Roster Advice

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9 replies

  1. I loved this piece. Very original and pretty damn funny

  2. What do you think of Jay Cutler over Drew Brees. I know it goes against the “start your studs” rule but he is in an away game and facing a Carolina D at home?

    • I could never advise sitting Brees during the playoffs. Cutler is a nice play, but you always risk him getting injured. NO is coming off a loss, so I imagine they will ball.

      • Dennis, look at Brees’ home-away splits. It’s hard to sit your studs, but in the playoffs, the best team decisions make or break teams. Could Brees snap out of it on the road? Of course, but given he was held under 200 yards passing against Seattle and had only 1 TD versus 2 INTs last week against the Rams, I’d go with Cutler this week. Philly is bottoms in the league against the pass and with Marshall and Jeffery at receiver, Cutler is gonna be in for a nice day. Also, consider the total inconsistency of the Saints receivers this season. Graham has 14 TDs, all other receivers and RBs COMBINED on the Saints have 17 TDs. Brees is still elite, but Cutler is the way to go this week.

  3. Personally, I’d consider it as the saints completely suck on the road this season. Cutler has nice weapons all over, and the panthers will be hungry for revenge after the shellacking they received in N’Orleans.

    • I see your point , but all this Saints suck on the road stuff is false. Since 2009 the Saints have the best road record in the NFL. Breeds put up 36fp against Carolina two weeks ago. I look at these questions as if it’s my team and my money on the line. That being said no way I’d bench Brees in championship week for a guy whose missed several games this season. Not to mention Brees doesn’t have a great back up on his heels like Cutler does. Real football game who would you rather have with the division on the line? Brees has alot to play for. Colston has come on strong lately so Graham is not the only game in town. To the original author of the question go with your first instinct.

  4. At the end of the day its all about the match up from week to week. If you find yourself with a tie on all angles go with your gut instinct.

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